The dog ate my…

Photo by Tim Dorr

A few weeks ago my daughter talked us into getting another dog.

Our old dog, a brainless but cute beagle, had died at the end of July. My husband said no dog until 2018. And so in the early days of November, of course we got a new dog.

He’s bigger. He’s got lab in him (webbed feet and lab nose) and looks part beagle. Thankfully he’s not stupid.

He is, however, young.

And full of energy.

And destructive.

We went through 5 squeaky toys in the first week, ripped to shreds with stuffing left everywhere.

He decapitated the toy squirrel, leaving half its head intact (it’s really gruesome).

We went through 3 “indestructable” toys that met the same fate. Even the rope toy was bitten apart.

The tug-of-war toy? Crunched apart and the rope shredded.

So we bought him indestructible toys. The ones that come guaranteed with replacement should he destroy them.

But he didn’t limit his destructiveness to his toys.

So the first question I ask when I come in the door is: what did the dog eat today?

So far it has included: a bluetooth speaker, several charging cords, a Minecraft figurine, a stuffed narwhal, the woodwork on our stairs, three pine cones, four cat toys, the cat Christmas collars and jingle bells. And my slippers…my sequined slippers, which were sitting on the bed to keep from interfering with the vacuum.

There are now sequins all over the house. And all over the back yard.

I discovered the destruction because of the sequin stuck to the dog’s nose.

So what’s to be done?

The destruction has gotten better since we removed all toys that he could destroy. We give him rawhides. And pigs’ ears. Scold him. Redirect him. Put him in his crate when we can’t watch him.

There are a lot of things I have discovered in the past few weeks of having this dog.

The first is that it doesn’t matter how smart the dog is. The second is that I really don’t like dogs.

Photo by Tim Dorr


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