The Vacuum Sucks

Photo by Samuel M. Livingston

Vacuuming is not one of my favorite activities. In fact, I would rather iron that vacuum (and for those that know me, they understand the magnitude of that statement). I would rather do just about anything, including give birth or pick up dead animals in the yard, than vacuum.

Part of the reason I hate vacuuming is that it seems pointless. You complete the vacuuming, and have to turn around and do it again.

There are other tasks like that in the house that I don’t mind, such as dishes and laundry. And raking leaves.

The difference is that with dishes and laundry, when you are cleaning the dishes and clothes, they actually get clean. When you rake the yard, you can get the leaves and leave a clean strip of lawn.

That doesn’t happen when I vacuum with my upright vacuum.

So I have a Roomba, who merrily beeps and whirrs its way around my upstairs on a rotating schedule. The Roomba does get lots of stuff up. I know this because I am constantly getting fur and hair out of its rollers and dumping the bin out. It also cheerfully picks up cat toys, various charging cords and coins.

Yet there is still the downstairs. And the downstairs is where the animals seem to leave all their hair, and the dust bunnies have squared off against the Lego people to fight an epic battle for control of the game room.

Yet I wouldn’t vacuum. My old vacuum sucked. And not in the way you want a vacuum to suck. The only good thing going for it was its longevity. Long gone are the times when we could find bags and filters for it. I put it in the closet and secretly hoped for it to run away.

It didn’t.

Recently, thanks to an unexpected bonus, I bought myself a Vacuum. With a capital V. It’s a Dyson, and that thing really sucks. In the way you want a vacuum to suck. After running over a carpet with the old vacuum, I can still bring up large amounts of dirt with the Dyson.

It amazes me and horrifies me at the same time. What else is lurking on my floors?

Regardless, it is a good feeling to see all that dirt coming up. I know that it’s working, and it makes vacuuming a (tiny) bit more bearable.

Photo by Samuel M. Livingston


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